Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.

I have a confession to make, I've totally been coveting this girl's beautifully decorated home. I'm gonna have to get a bigger decorating budget.

Cheers, Tears, and Santa Claus

Tonight was Cash's very first Christmas program! It probably wasn't the momentous occasion I felt it was to anyone else in the room (besides Drew...maybe) but thats ok. Since I've been told I have a "flair for the dramatic" I've always longed for the day I could go to one of those programs and be the mom standing in the side aisle snapping pictures and doing the motions along with the kids with a huge grin on her face. And you better believe thats exactly how it went tonight. His class sang "Away in a Manger" tonight and he did such a good job. He did the first motion - rocking the baby Jesus in his arms - the entire song BUT he didn't: a) cry incessantly with his hands in his mouth (a new trait of his), b) run off stage or explore the rest of the stage, or c) just stand there so I felt it was a huge success. And of course he looked adorable, as exhibited below.

There he is rocking that imaginary baby Jesus!

In front of the tree at church.

The kids got to meet Santa & Mrs. Claus. Coco seemed a little uncertain...

...and I think Cash may need counseling.

Ramblings.

Well I'll just start off this post by letting you know that we have reached the "NO" stage with Cash. And I'm not talking about us telling him no - we've been there for awhile now. No, no...he's now telling us. What a delight. Moving on.

I ventured out of my shell, if you will, and went to the Community South Hospital Breastfeeding Support Group this morning. I went anticipating the La Leche League sitting around the table judging Corrinne's latch, my usage of the hooter hider (I could just hear them whispering, "Just let it hang out. Its the most natural thing in the world."), and finding out she's not getting hardly milk and hasn't gained an ounce in the last 2 months. Thankfully none of that happened. In fact, I didn't even use my hooter hider...turns out, in a room full of women doing the same exact thing I honestly didn't care at all to go au naturale. In a crowded mall is a completely different story. Anyways. I did find out that Corrinne weighs roughly 13 1/2 pounds and is getting around 3.5 ounces at every feeding. Good news! She has her 4 month visit on Tuesday so we'll see what her exact stats are...I know. FOUR MONTHS. So hard to believe. Girlfriend rolled over from back to belly on Wednesday and is now a rollin fool...

In other news, we found out Wednesday night that Cash will be starring in his first on-stage performance in a few weeks! Last fall he joined an elite singing group at church, The Joyful Noise choir. And by joined I mean he started going to the toddler class on Wednesday nights while Drew and I are in bible study. His teachers handed us a paper when we picked him up last night asking us to go over the songs with him in preparation for the kids' christmas program on the 13th. Ha! If only they knew what they were asking me to do...All of the potential stage mother instincts within kicked in and I made a mental promise to go over the songs every day with Cash. We started this evening and much to my surprise he knew all the motions to Away in a Manger! I could barely sing I was laughing so hard. I can't wait to see him on stage on the 13th! Don't worry - the video camera will be out!!!!

I also feel I should make one of my personal goals public as to keep myself accountable. Usually I ask Drew to hold me accountable with these type of things but its involving my weight and lets be honest - there's really no safe way for him to hold me accountable when it comes to losing weight/working out/spending money. Oops...did that last one slip out?! ;) Every year on our anniversary I put my wedding dress on. I know some of you are probably sitting there thinking to yourself, "hasn't she been pregnant every year on their anniversary so far?" and the answer to that question is yes. That didn't stop me. HOWEVER, this year not only will I not be pregnant, but I will be able to fit into my dress like I did on that fateful day almost 3 year ago! Which means, I need to lose about 20 pounds in the next 3 months or so. Yikes. I can do it!!! On that note, I need to go make my coffee cake I'm taking to MOPS in the morning. :) Nighty night...

Thanksgiving, 2009

The day started out as it does every year - with the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade. Cash is officially a fan. That makes 2 out of the 4 Hollingsworths. :)

Corrinne was really excited for Thanksgiving. Or maybe she was excited about wearing those adorable pink boots!

This is the just the "grown up" table.

Here we have Cash wearing his favorite part of the meal: Megan's chocolate chip cookies.

And my favorite picture of last weekend - Carter & Corrinne. 3 1/2 and 4 month old cuteness!

aaaThank you!

Last year around this time, I wrote a Thank You post containing several things/people I was thankful for at the time. To keep with tradition, I thought I'd give God another "shout-out" and list what I'm thankful for this year. Without any further ado...

Always on my list: My dear, sweet, adorable, sexy, loving, courageous, and hard-working husband, Drew. He is the funniest guy I know, incredible father to our children, and the champion of my heart. He will always be at the top of my "thankful" list.

Of course, I'm equally thankful for my two kids. The fact that they're healthy, growing, and smart is a miracle. Not everyone can say that. I'm often reminded of this. And as a bonus - they're hilarious, adorable, and downright beautiful. ;) I love them both equally, but I'm thankful for them for different reasons: I'm thankful for Cash because he introduced me to the wonderful world of motherhood. He has endured so many "test runs" as our first child and has somehow made it! ;) He has such a sweet, tender spirit, yet can test my limits in almost the same breath. He's an awesome sleeper and excellent big brother. Being his mom is a true joy.

I'm thankful for Corrinne because she taught me about trusting in God's timing before she was even born! At only 3 1/2 months old she is learning so much everyday. Because she's my second and I'm a little more relaxed, I enjoy watching her learn without worrying she's not doing what she should at this given stage, etc. Having her has forced me to be the organized person I always wanted to be, but never had the swift kick in the pants I needed to get me there. Her smile is a highlight of my day, and the reason I don't (always) cry when I am woken up in the middle of the night...I'm so incredibly thankful and glad we were blessed with her.

Almost daily I think to myself, "I love our new house." Its such a blessing to have so much space for our kids, visitors, our stuff, and the kids to come. (Yes, there will be more! But not anytime soon.) We've been able to entertain our friends and family without people having to sit on each other's laps. (I kid, that never happened.) We are so grateful God worked it out for us to be able to sell our house and purchase this one. It was truly His handiwork.

My family. I have a HUGE family and its always crazy when we're all together. But I think I'd probably cry if it were any other way. There's nothing quite like the bond you share with your siblings. My sisters are my very best friends and I know it'll always be that way. We understand each other better than anyone, know the other person's joke before they say it and laugh the loudest at it. We hurt when one is hurting and celebrate each other's accomplishments. I realize not everyone can say they're thankful for their family and that breaks my heart because I can't imagine a life without that support system. I have tremendous parents whom I've become friends with as an adult and appreciate their love and parenting even more as I've become a parent. I know I don't say it often enough, so in case you guys are reading this -- I love you! :)

Chick-fil-a Sauce. Ok, I don't know when Mr. Truett Cathy came up with this recipe but I'm pretty sure all of heaven rejoiced. I think I've become slightly obsessed with it and its become a staple at lunch on play date days - which happens once a week. And it occurred to me this afternoon, while eating my 2nd 8 pack nugget meal with a large sweet tea and extra C-F-A sauce this week, that this could be to blame for the 11 pounds of baby weight I constantly complain about. (Yes - I lost a pound last week! Baby steps, people. Baby steps.)

Mylicon. I'd like to thank the manufacturers of Mylicon for all the times you have had a hand in allowing me some extra sleep when my little one gets a bit gassy. You have created a miracle drug and I'm considering buying stock in your company...

DVR. Gone are the days of missing out on shows just because they're on after I go to bed, or having to miss something because I need to leave the room momentarily. Oh no! Not only can I "record" a show without using the VCR (do those even still exist?!) but I can record FOUR SHOWS AT ONCE! Glorious technology!

And lastly (just for this particular list) but far from the least...

My salvation. You know I couldn't do a list without stating the obvious. I'm forever grateful for the sacrifice Christ made for me and you and have committed my life to doing everything I can to glorify and honor Him.

Happy Thanksgiving from the Hollingsworths!

Life is like a box of chocolates. Mmmm, Chocolate!

Truth be told, I hardly ever know what day it is. Blame it on (somewhat) sleepless nights, hormones, the sheer fact that I have 2 children under 2. Whatever. Its a fact. But yesterday I was caught off guard by just how quickly time is passing.

Yesterday Megan and I were discussing how glad we are not to be in high school anymore, but how it doesn't seem like it was that long ago that we were (in reality its been 8 and 5 years for us!). It feels like I just celebrated my 18th birthday a few years ago..."a few years ago" meaning almost 9. When I'm around women my age who have yet to join the ranks of motherhood, I admit I feel like life is passing me by. They're out living it up in the workplace with their abs still intact and exciting vacations planned while I'm at home wiping boogers and hineys all day long, trying to find something to wear that hides the 12 lbs of baby weight clinging for dear life.

This past Sunday I was convicted on our way to church. Drew had been off work all weekend and wasn't scheduled to go back until Tuesday morning. But there it was Sunday morning and I was mentally trying to prepare myself for this week's schedule and began asking him about his work-week, etc. I had (mentally) skipped over the last day of his "vacation" and was already geared up for him to go back to work. It was right then that I felt God tugging on my heart and saying, "Don't worry about tomorrow...enjoy today." I realized in that instance how often I do skip over today and move right on to preparing for tomorrow and the days to follow without even being guaranteed a tomorrow! Life isn't passing me by; I'm passing by life. Sometimes flying right past it!

This is my life - diapers, spit up, drool, boogers, galore! The kitchen has dirty dishes in the sink, and I have a ton of laundry to do. During the 30 minutes its taken me to write this, I've saved Corrinne from being trampled on by Cash approximately 15 times. And I'm sure I'll "save her life" about 300 times more today...But around 5:00 tonight the most handsome man ever will walk in my front door and greet me with a kiss. We'll enjoy a lovely dinner of stuffed peppers and help some friends celebrate their first baby girl's arrival into the world. Its not an extravagant vacation but we'll have time for those someday...in about 20 years. :) And as for those 12 lbs and saggy abs (and saggy other parts of the body we won't mention by name) - I wear them with pride (sometimes) because without them I wouldn't have my beautiful kids. And lets face it - its not natural to be that skinny and have 2 kids. ;)

Wait a sec. Did we just turn the clocks back?!

I just wanted to let you know its November. In case you hadn't realized yet. And in this house, that means its officially time to break out the CHRISTMAS MUSIC!!! I've practiced some serious self control and haven't asked Drew to get the Christmas decorations out. But I think thats only because he's still busy painting in preparation for our big Thanksgiving dinner!

(Yes, we're hosting BOTH of our families for Thanksgiving. Thats roughly 30 people. I'm SO excited!) Speaking of Project Paint 2009, I'm LOVING how its turning out. I can't wait to see the finished product complete with new curtains, wall art, and decor. Its going to be beautiful! I'll be sure to keep you up to date on that.

Since its officially Christmas season, I've added some holiday treats to my playlist. You're welcome. And Merry Christmas!!! :)

Lots o' fun!

Last night we kicked off our Halloween festivities by going to our church's Harvest Festival. The kids looked adorable and Cash thoroughly enjoyed the Trunk or Treat. :)

Since we're hosting both of our families (at once!) for Thanksgiving this year, I thought it'd be nice to paint the first floor of the house beforehand. Especially since I knew Drew would be the one doing all the painting. :) He's already gotten a LOT done and I'm loving it! Here's a sneak peek into our new kitchen. Can't wait to show off the finished product!

About 15 months too late...

I had placed the bottle of freshly pumped breast milk on the desk while I put the pump away only to walk back into the room to find Cash drinking it.

I almost cried.

Blah Blah Blah!

Its been awhile since my last post. Probably because of my newly-acquired maturity causing me to spend my free time doing things like cleaning my kitchen, sanitizing our house from "viruses like the 2009 H1N1" (thank you, Clorox commercial that I see a million times a day), folding laundry, and daily personal hygiene.

So to catch you up...

Apparently whoever coined the phrase "Terrible 2's" wasn't a parent. Because from my personal experience, and other parents around me, the "terrible ___" phase begins roughly around the age of 18 months. Guess how old Cash is now....! Well, close. 17 months. He's started a month early and so we are not only dealing with the fun side of this age: talking (with my interpretation, of course), running, climbing (not sure thats on the "fun side" list), feeding himself, and the like; But also the really not fun side of this age: temper tantrums. He's a smart little booger and knows exactly what he's not supposed to do and the prime time to do those things - either when I'm nursing Corrinne or on the phone. :) Yeah. Any advice on this particular part of parenting would be greatly appreciated.

Corrinne is inching near the 3 month mark and seriously gained about 5 lbs overnight, it seems. She's got such a sweet smile and is very laid back. Which is good considering the paragraph I just wrote about Cash. :) She likes to lay on her back and roll from side to side and is starting to reach for her toys now. She also enjoys chatting a lot with mommy during our 5am feedings and loves anytime Cash is nearby. Well...I take that back. She didn't enjoy when he climbed on top of her last week to drive his car on her boppy while she was laying on it. Sorry, Corrinne! One things for sure - she's gonna be a tough cookie!!!

I realize I'm rambling and should probably go do some dishes and try to find something decent to wear. I had forgotten how hard it is to find clothes that fit properly post-baby. (Can I still be considered "post-baby" even though she's not technically a newborn anymore? Please tell me I can, otherwise I might cry because I feel like I still look 20 wks pregnant!)

Until next time...

Strange things are goin' on....

Minutes ago I uttered words I thought I'd never say: "I love the feeling of having a clean kitchen. It actually makes me sleep better at night." I feel victorious when I'm finally able to clean the teeny tiny little burnt on something off the stove. I've noticed I gravitate towards the home decor section in stores before making my way to the clothing (and even then I usually start out in the baby/toddler section). I've asked for throw pillows and curtains for Christmas. I look up decorating ideas online. I spend hours looking at paint chips trying to find THE color for the downstairs. I notice things like water spots on my kitchen sink and have actually cleaned the sink before doing dishes. I actually wanted to cook dinner for my family - complete with placemats and no TV around our dining room table - 3 times this past week instead of eating out. I realize these all may be common place for you, but it hasn't always been like this for me.

I retract my statement from a few years ago; Not only did I inherit my mother's "too fertile for my own good" gene, but I think I just may have gotten her "domestic diva" gene too!

Apple Orchard 2009

Drew and I took the kids to Anderson's Apple Orchard last Wednesday and had so much fun! Cash really enjoyed having so much space to run (and being free from the stroller!). He had a little bit of confusion with the apples, thinking they were balls, so we had to keep telling him not to throw them. We also realized we should never ask him to say "apple" when we're at church. Sounds more like another word that'll get him in trouble for saying. ;)

I'm looking forward to taking them next year when Corrinne's old enough to join in on the fun. Next I'll have to post pictures of my first attempt at a 100% home-made apple pie...(Is it really sad that I'm almost 27, have 2 kids and have never made a homemade apple pie?!)

Apple Orchard 2009, cont'd

Little Miss Corrinne is now 2 months old! She's tipping the scales at 12 lbs 8 oz keeping her in the 90th percentile. :) We fall more and more in love with her everyday. She's such a sweet little girl and I truly can't imagine my life without her in it. This is one of my favorite photos of her. It cracks me up! :)

Oopsie!

Sadly I have to admit I can be a bit paranoid at times.

(Is it really that uncommon for someone to worry about their house being invaded in the middle of the night and who knows what other kind of evil happening?! I mean, I see it happen all the time on TV...)

One morning last week I was up with Corrinne around 4:45. She was having trouble going back to sleep and I kept having to get up and give her the pacifier (over and over...). Her pack n' play is positioned right in front of our bedroom windows, which face the street. The way our neighborhood is laid out, you pretty much have to drive down our street on purpose, mmkay? So I'm up placing the pacifier in her mouth and notice headlights stopped 2 houses down from us. Then they drove down to our neighbors house, stopped for a bit, then drove on. They did this for most of the houses on our street, except for ours. Knowing that this could potentially be my murderer I was quick to get a description of the vehicle: red minivan, older model - blaring loud music. Well, of course I watched them and tried to figure out what they were doing. The only conclusion I could come up with was that they were probably criminals scoping out the neighborhood to see when people got up/left for work so they'd know when to break in. Obviously.

The next morning I told Drew what I had witnessed and let him know I should probably be President of our Neighborhood Crime Watch since I'm so sneaky and observant. And up at random times in the middle of the night with my 8 wk old.

Well! My investigative skills were put to the test again yesterday when Drew and I pulled out of our driveway around 5:45 pm. I noticed the same red mini-van driving down our street and stopping at houses for a few seconds again! I pointed out the suspect vehicle out to Drew and said, "LOOK! Thats the car that I saw the other morning scoping out the place..." We watched for a few minutes and then Drew turns to me and says, "They're dropping off newspapers, Bethany. Its a paper boy."

Paranoid. My pictures probably next to it in the dictionary...

Genius.

I'm so excited about this...props to my girl, Meagan, for getting the word out.

Our lives will never be the same. ;)

Corrinne's Newborn Shoot

BFF for LIFE, those two.

Cash decided last week it was finally time to hold his sister - I mean, it only took 6 wks for him to come to that conclusion. (Honestly though - I was kinda glad it took 6 weeks!) So we did what all good parents do in those situations....we propped that girl up next to him and let him love all over her. :)

It was really one of the most precious moments. It was so cute to watch him pat her on the head, kiss her forehead and my favorite - take her tiny hand in his and kiss it - something that Mommy & Daddy do a lot to Corrinne. :) She's really started noticing when Cash is around and he can get the biggest smiles out of her.

Move Over, Giada!

I'm a list person. I make lists for everything and I love, love, looove checking things off those lists. I currently have a list on our fridge - "To Do..." meaning things I need to do around the house whilst Drew is working "outside of the home", a list on Drew's iPhone and I have no clue what he's entitled it but its things to be done to the house that I want done but we both know Drew will be the one doing them (gotta love marriage), and several mental lists waiting to put onto paper. Anyways, I woke up this morning with a short mental list of things to accomplish today:

1. Take a shower -- always top of the list. I just function better if I feel presentable and clean.

2. Organize toys in the loft by age group, the noisy ones, and the big ones.

3. Actually prepare a home-cooked meal since Drew will be home tonight and we can eat dinner together for once! (This hasn't happened in...quite some time.)

...and thats it because lets not forget the many meals I'd be making/giving the kids, butts to be wiped, etc during this 10 hour time frame. Well...I'm 2 for 3. Its not bad really. I mean, why organize toys that are just going to be drug out an hour after its done and will need reorganized in a week anyways. ;)

I decided to make Italian Meat Loaves tonight since we have the stuff and Drew's been suggesting them for the last 2 weeks. This is a recipe a friend gave me and it pretty much makes me look like I'm as good as Giada from Everyday Italian - although I didn't wear a super low-cut shirt while I made dinner tonight so it wasn't quite the same. (Even though my cleavage could definitely give hers a run for its money, mmmkaaay?!) Anyways, the meat loaves are delicious and a fun spin on the traditional dish. I encourage you to try them out and if you come up with some fun side dishes, let me know! I did some garlic mashed potatoes and green beans...my boys were satisfied.

Italian Meat Loaves

1 lb. ground beef

8 oz. italian sausage

1 egg

1 cup spaghetti sauce

1 cup plain bread crumbs

1/2 tsp rosemary

1 tsp garlic, minced

4-6 mozzarella or provolone cheese sticks, frozen

Mix all the ingredients together (except for the cheese sticks) in a large bowl. Create 4-6 individual loaves - depending on how big you want them. Insert a frozen cheese stick in each, making sure to cover the entire cheese stick. Place in baking dish - 8 x 8 if you're cooking 2-3, 9 x 13 if you're making all 4-6 - and bake at 350 for 30 min. Spoon more spaghetti sauce on top of each loaf and sprinkle some shredded mozzarella cheese on top. Bake 5 more minutes, or until cheese is melted. Let them set 5 minutes before serving.

Note: I only baked 3 tonight and froze 3. They're good for 3 months!

Bon Appetit!!

Highlights from this week...

Corrinne had her 1 month visit this week and is apparently nursing well since she's now over 11lbs! She's also 22 inches long, putting her in the 75th percentile for height and 90th for weight. Girlfriend loves to eat! :)

(As you can see by the multiple chins in this picture.)

As of Friday, Cash is 16 months old! Can you believe it?! He's practically running now and has even started talking a little. My personal favorite is his nickname for Corrinne - "Ninn". :) He's still doing really well with her, although I did find myself saying "We don't hammer our sister." as well as, "We kiss with our lips, not our teeth." this week. Its a work in progress.

We've got some smiles! And lots of coo-ing, especially when she sees herself in the mirror. Ha! My mom says she's definitely my child. I'm not sure what she means by that... ;)

This has become one of my favorite pictures! It was taken just before we left to go to my brother, Griffin's, varsity football game. He's starting linebacker this year and playing very well! We really enjoyed watching him play and hearing my other brother, Landon, play in the marching band. I will say, being at the game made me realize a few things: 1. I really don't want that cheerleading coach position I considered applying for earlier in the week. 2. My daughter won't be allowed to just wear her sports bra anywhere in public -- even (especially!) if she has "GO DC" painted on her tiny little belly. 3. Its been 8 years since I was cheering on that track in an itty bitty little cheerleading skirt. It seriously feels like yesterday...

I found some awesome stuff at our community yard sale this morning. I spent a total of $81.50 and got this lovely chair (being modeled by Cash), 3 shirts 3 outfits and a sweater for Corrinne, and a lamp for her room. Score!!!!

A day in the life...

If only you could've been a fly on our wall this morning...

I had just gotten cleaned up - at a leisurely pace, mind you, since Drew was home this morning - and walked downstairs to feed Corrinne. I picked her up out of the swing to find she had an explosion in her diaper that was on the verge of leakage. I promptly cleaned her little hiney and started feeding her.

As I started feeding her, Drew took Cash upstairs to lay him down for his nap. Then Drew took off for work, leaving me to sit and stare at the dust accumulating on our entertainment center...and desk...and dining room table...and pretty much everything else in our house since I haven't had the time to clean since my daughter was born. 5 weeks ago. Yikes. That got my mind going and I quickly realized it had been that long since anything in this house (besides dishes and some of our clothes) has been cleaned. Nasty! As I'm realizing this I could hear Cash talking and shaking his crib rails upstairs. It had been almost 35 minutes since we laid him down. My mind fast-forwarded to later this afternoon when I would unsuccessfully lay Cash down for a real nap if I didn't get him out of his crib soon, leaving me with a cranky 16 month old and a 5 week old to deal with until Drew gets home at 10:30pm. I could feel the stress level rising. (When you're sleep deprived, it doesn't take much.)

At this point my sister, Ashley, calls. She could tell something was wrong by the way I answered and I took her asking, "What's wrong?" as an open invitation to unleash all my stress on her - complete with tears. Thankfully she understands where I'm coming from. She just had her 2nd baby 2 weeks ago. During our conversation (if thats what you call one person listening and one talking through sobs) my mom beeps in. So I briefly fill her in on my overwhelmed state of mind and then get off the phone actually feeling somewhat better.

I go upstairs and get Cash out of the crib, get him dressed and we head downstairs while I tell myself to make the best of a long day and to take advantage of Corrinne sleeping in the swing and spend some one-on-one time with Cash.

It started out well. We read an alphabet book. Then he decided he wanted lunch - mandarin oranges, milk, and peanut butter crackers. Well he ate about 3 orange slices, half a cracker and decided he was done. Fine. About this time Corrinne woke up -- poopy, once again.

I changed her diaper and asked Cash to throw it away for me. He gladly walked it over to the trash can and threw it away. I started to put Corrinne's onesie on her -- a newborn onesie she's never worn before and my guess is she won't ever wear it again since I had a hard time getting it over her head!

Just about this time I look up and Cash is bringing me the cup of oranges I threw away at lunch. Except the cup I threw away was mostly full and the one he was carrying towards me only had 3 or 4 slices in it...which means....the rest of them were on my dining room floor. Awesome! I cleaned those up and ran back to the couch to finish putting Corrinne's onesie on her since she was squirming with it stuck over her eyes. Poor thing...

I got her dressed in time to look down and notice Cash has figured out how to make milk pour (not leak, POUR) out of the "spill-proof" sippy cup making milk puddles on our carpet. I quickly grabbed the cup, smacked his chubby little hand (for like the 15th time today) and gave him a wet wipe to clean it up with. He actually did clean it up and then proceeded to throw it away. He threw it away and decided he was ready to read again. So he picked up his book and started to rip a page out. I take the book out of his hand, picked him up and started to explain to him why we don't rip pages out of our books when he threw up all over my shoulder.

Lets just say there were more tears, lots more wet wipes, and a quick decision to get the heck outta my house long enough to re-gain some sanity. So we went to the Chick-fil-a drive thru. Because sweet tea always makes things better.

I'm sure someday I'll read this post and laugh...

1 whole month

Corrinne will be one month old at 6:00 this evening! I can't believe it. Mainly because I can't believe 4 weeks has passed since she entered our world yet it seems like just yesterday I had her. But then I also can't remember what our lives were like before she arrived. The irony of parenthood.

Yesterday I commented on how before she was born, I had thoughts of how things might have been easier if I hadn't been pregnant at the time. Like moving, taking Cash out to play in the summer heat, walking up the stairs, etc. But since I met my brown-eyed beauty I've never once thought of how our lives would be easier if she weren't here. I seriously cannot imagine a world without both of my kids. (The fact that I now refer to them in plural still freaks me out at times.)

Now don't get me wrong - things are definitely not easy. There are moments when our world is at peace (like now - both kids are napping allowing me the time to post this blog). But usually one or the other - or in a lot of cases - both kids need my attention. And they need it RIGHT THEN. We've had our share of cry-fests. All 3 of us. But the heart-warming moments far outnumber them. Like yesterday when I got to hear Corrinne's first coo's. Or every morning...and after every nap time...and several other times throughout the day when Cash just has to stop what he's doing to give her a hug and kiss.

Before she was born, in those moments of doubt, I told myself that we'd just learn to adjust and go on. And adjust we have...I've figured out how to nurse Corrinne while feeding Cash. We read lots of books together during Corrinne's meals and Cash has even learned to help me with her diapers by throwing them away after I change her. (Although there was one unfortunate instance where he returned from the trash can licking his yogurt container from the night before!) I've managed to get a shower everyday and have even been able to make it to church alone with the kids. (Thanks to some help from my brothers/dad.) Corrinne is nursing and sleeping well - last night she even gave me a 7 hour stretch! Better days (or nights, rather) are on their way...

It looks like we're gonna make it. :)

Warning: Sweetness overload!

we are so blessed.

I could not ask for more...

Remember a few months ago when we scheduled Corrinne's c-section and I said it seemed too good to be true?! Well, it turns out...it was!

Apparently my uterus did not get the previous memo and continued to contract sending me to the hospital last Monday where I was hooked up to a monitor for several hours. I was contracting every 5 minutes, but because I was still only dilated to 1cm I wasn't considered to be in active labor and was sent home. Actually I was sent to Long John Silvers (the only thing I wanted to eat after being told I couldn't have anything to eat or drink from 9am until 3pm - not easy for a pregnant lady!). Then we went home. The only encouraging information the nurse gave me that day was that if I had progressed any more at my appointment with Dr. Davidson the next morning she might do the c-section Tuesday. Later that evening the contractions had slowed down to just a few an hour. I was not feeling hopeful.

Tuesday morning I got up - not having any contractions, mind you - got ready, did NOT eat breakfast and headed to the OB's office. Drew dropped Cash off at his parents' house just in case we ended up at the hospital afterwards and met me just before they called me back. I told him I wasn't expecting to have a baby that day, but would love to hear that I'd at least dilated to 2cm...

While we were waiting to be called back the sky turned a nasty grey and it started raining. Really hard. Actually, it was pouring. Everyone kept commenting on how dark it was outside and how nasty it looked. It was starting to turn green almost. I, however, was not focused on that. I just wanted to know what the heck my cervix was up to...

The nurse called us back, we did the usual - weight check, blood pressure check and then we waited on Dr. Davidson. She came in, measured my belly, listened to Corrinne's heart rate and checked me and said the best words I could've heard, "Well, you're...4cm!" 4 glorious centimeters!!!! Corrinne was on her way and the best part was - it was my mom's birthday! Since I found out I was pregnant with Corrinne, Mom had talked about how neat it would be to get a grand-baby for her birthday. So after getting instructions and signing multiple consents for the surgery we headed on to the hospital and I called mom to tell her she was getting her birthday wish. I still hadn't really noticed and/or cared about the fact that I was walking to my car in a torrential downpour - I was having my baby!!!!!

We were told the surgery was scheduled for 12:30 that afternoon. It was about 11:15 when we arrived to the hospital where my admitting nurse told me that there was no power in the O.R. and we'd have to wait - so 12:30 wasn't going to happen. Fine with me, half the family wasn't there yet and my Ft Wayne family was still getting notified at that point. We could wait.

Then we got word that the hospital was on "lock down" status and no one was allowed to enter or leave the hospital because the roads were flooding due to the rain. Thankfully, our families were able to make it in before we found out the surrounding roads into the hospital were closed!

I got my IV and found out that it would be more like 2:30. Still good...Drew got his scrubs to wear during the surgery and was told to get dressed by 1:45 because we'd be heading back around 2 to get things started. So we just chatted with the family and waited...

and waited...

and waited....

until about 2:00 when my nurse came in and told us Dr. Davidson couldn't get away from the office so it'd be more like 3:30. So we waited some more. Finally around 2:45 the family gathered around my bed and prayed for the surgery: prayed for me and Corrinne, prayed for Dr. Davidson, and prayed for a speedy recovery. I was feeling really anxious and excited but just wanted to meet my baby and get the surgery over with. Since I was having a repeat c-section I walked down to the O.R. with my nurse, climbed up on the table to receive my spinal block. Drew had to wait outside while that was being administered but the nurses were going to call him back once I was prepped and ready to go...so I'm sitting on the table and the anesthesiologist is getting ready to scrub my back for the medicine when the lights went out in the O.R. You could feel everyone (and I'm told you could hear our family in the waiting room) let out a huge sigh and "are you kidding me?!" I immediately started panicking thinking way too much about what I was about to go through, how alone I felt sitting in that sterile room with no lights and/or AC on. I started to have a mini panic attack and just needed to see my husband. So I asked if I could go be with him and immediately walked out and told him I wanted to go home and didn't want to have the baby that day. HA!! Thankfully Drew knows me well enough to know that wasn't true, I just needed to chill out a bit. So we went back to our room where my mom came in and helped calm me down. We talked with the nurses about some different options as far as anesthesia (the whole walking to the O.R. and climbing on the table freaked me out - I wanted to just go in there numb, get it done, and get out.) Around 4:30 I got an epidural- in our room with Drew next to me - and shortly after my Dr walked in, assured me that everything was going to go smoothly and by 5:30 we were in a fully-functioning, air-conditioned O.R. getting started.

It is a strange feeling laying on a table knowing exactly what's being done to you (thanks to watching way too many episodes of a Baby Story). I didn't feel pain but I could definitely feel pulling, them wiping my belly with towels, and the nurses pushing Corrinne out of the incision. It wasn't exactly a pleasant experience. But at 6:00 on the dot, I heard the best noise a mom can hear - my baby girl's first cry. It brings tears to my eyes thinking of it now. From what they said, her head wasn't even totally out yet and she was crying -- she was mad! They quickly got her out and showed us her purple, bloody little body over the drape and whisked her off to get cleaned up. Dr. Davidson asked for guesses on her weight and I quickly yelled out, "7lbs 15oz!". They laughed at how certain I sounded...but when they weighed her and she was exactly 7 pounds and 15 ounces they really cracked up. The next 30 minutes seemed to last an eternity as I kept trying to get a good glimpse of my daughter between nurses checking her out (she scored a 9 and 10 on her apgars - thankyouverymuch!) and feeling like I was going to fall asleep at any minute. (A side effect of the morphine.) Finally at 6:35 they laid her in my arms and I instantly knew why God had given us this baby at this point in our lives and felt ashamed for even questioning it. She is perfect and beautiful and my heart is overwhelmed with love for our children. As I've watched Drew with her, Cash kissing and hugging her, and stared into her eyes over the last few days I have thought to myself, it just doesn't get any better...

drumroll please...

You'll have to settle for pictures right now because this little lady needs to eat! But lets be honest - the pictures are all you really care about anyways... 

Introducing: Corrinne Olivia 

August 4, 2009 6:00pm

7 lbs 15 oz

20.5 inches long

Cash loves her and we have been pleasantly surprised by how well he's adjusting to life with a sister.