K-I-S-S-I-N-G

Cash just asked me to kiss him in his mouth while opening up as wide as he could.

I'm sure this sounds a little inappropriate to you, and I'm giggling as I type it out. But he's got  a sore throat and just wants me to fix it the only way he knows how to get boo-boo's fixed - my kisses.

Sweet, and I did kiss his lips (because I figure I can still do that until he tells me to stop) but explained to him nicely that I was never going to kiss inside his mouth.

ahem.

As I pat myself on the back

Usually by the time we hit Saturday, which in our world is known as Wednesday since Drew works every Saturday and has every Wednesday off, I'm pretty much out of ideas for fun things to do with the kids at home. So we go out. Chick-fil-a is a popular hot spot since it has the play place and my beloved, Sweet Tea. But today I humored my Burger King lovin' kids and let them get "chicken n fries, the blue tind", as Cash calls it (the roof on every Burger King is blue). As I was buckling them into their car seats after filling their tummies with delicious (and not so nutritious) chicken tenders and fries, I suggested we go to Target and see if we could find some good deals! Cash had an interesting suggestion on the way there, "Maybe we can get Avatar and give it to Daddy!" I was as surprised as you are. Even though he's only seen maybe 20 minutes of the movie, he supposedly loves it and always asks to watch it. Hilarious what this kid comes up with these days.

Anyways, I walked into Target with a list in my head of items needed: toilet paper. And as usual, I walked out with several other items that were added to the list while I was in the store. ;) I ended up with 2 winter coats (one for each kid for next winter), a fleece for Cash and of course, toilet paper. (If I hadn't been on a strict 30 minute time limit, I would've bought more!) My total was $18 and the most expensive item purchased was the 12 pack of toilet paper. 

Oh, how I love Target's clearance! 

My New Years "resolution"

It is no secret to anyone who knows me that I am a chicken. I blame my mother* mostly since she is the Queen of Worrying (along with Bargains, Pot Roast, and Home Decor). And after my mom, I blame my kids. You see before I added "mom" to my list of names, I had much less fear and worry in my life. Some could call it "ignorance" or "carelessness" but nonetheless, I wasn't nearly as fearful as I find myself these days.

(I should note that in order to get the full effect, you should use hand quotes anytime something is quoted in this post. ahem. thanks.)

Moving on, I don't like that I'm so fearful. For one, its a straight up commandment from God to "fear not"! (Ok, maybe don't use the hand quotes there. No disrespecting The Big Guy!) In Beth Moore's study on Esther she talked about how many times God commanded someone to "fear not!". I can't remember the exact number, but she just kept repeating those words, "Fear not! Fear not! FEAR NOT!". And secondly, its just annoying. I lose sleep because of it and can't enjoy nights away from the kids because I'm worried that something might happen to them and I'll spend the rest of my life feeling responsible for their deaths and blaming myself for being so selfish that I needed time away and look what it cost me. (Ok, seriously? This could be a direct quote from my mom. I really AM turning into her!)

I'm sure some of you are thinking, "get this girl some Lexapro!". I don't blame you.

But aside from fear, I find myself being so selfish and self-centered about things. And I'm done. I don't like those things about myself and when 12:01 am rolled around on January 1, 2011 I made a promise to myself to just LET GO.

I can't tell you how many times God has brought the scripture, "letting go of the sin that so easily entangles," to mind. And everything I've talked about this far is sin. I have nothing to fear for God is with me! I love Chris Tomlin's song, Our God, that asks, "and if our God is for us, then who could ever stop us? And if our God is with us, than what could stand against?". Tell me, who? The victory is already won. Perfect love casts out fear. Greater is He who is in me, than he who is in the world.

I want to let go of the petty things that bother me and keep me from becoming the wife God wants me to be, the friend I need to be, and the woman I'm called to be. I want to stop focusing on dirty dishes and messy rooms and spend more time on the floor with my kids who seem to be growing at rapid speed. (For real, Cash no longer refers to me as Mommy. I'm now Mom and even got an eye roll at nap time today. SLOW DOWN!) I want to stop letting my insecurities and doubts get in the way of making new friendships and strengthening the ones I've had for years. I want to sing with true abandon... in front of people... and worship the way I do when no one is watching. I want to let go of situations I have absolutely no control over with complete trust that God has it all in control.

I just want to let go. I want to be freed from all of this "sin that so easily entangles" me so I can press on for the greater goal of my life: to bring glory and honor to the One who rescued me from an eternity of misery.

*Mom, I don't really blame you. I love you! :)

Please excuse my absence...

I know it seems like I haven't been blogging much lately. Probably because I haven't. The truth is, I'm not one of those bloggers that can just blog about anything... its gotta be something I feel I need to share. Much like how I can't sing a song unless I feel a certain calling about it. I have to feel it to sing it. Or write it, in this case. I'm sure some of you are probably remembering posts about dragging my kids out in the cold to get a mountain dew or some silly link-party... or whatever its called... about "Top 2 Tuesdays". And yes, I felt convicted to share that information with you. ;)

I do have a post in the works (in my brain, not in word form yet) that will have some type of substance to it.  But like the need for a "calling" I also have to be in the right mood... otherwise words get all jumbled and the whole thing just seems sort of awkward.

no wonder Cash is such a quirky kid. Check out his mom.

New Years Resolution #1

At this point I'm pretty much banking on the hope that one day Cash will once again utilize nap time for its intended purpose instead of whining, playing with toys, and essentially disobeying me day after day.

Christmas 2010

It should come as no surprise to you that I'm so behind on posting pictures of Christmas... or blogging for that matter! As usual, our holiday season was full of fun and went by way too quickly. Here are a few pictures...

Corrinne at our church's Candlelight Christmas Eve service - one of the highlights of the season!

"Woody & Buzz"! Cash's fave celebrities! ;)

Wearing her new pearls to take her babies for a stroll. Just like her Mommy! ;) 

Our family, Christmas 2010

One of my favorites from the entire season!

Please stop growing up so quickly, sweet babies!