Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Three

Dear Cash,

Today you are three years old! You have been talking about your birthday and presents and being "fwee" for a long time now and you absolutely LOVED your birthday. It was so much fun to watch you lead us in  the Happy Birthday song about 15 times today, especially at your birthday dinner tonight with Nana & Pops and Mimi & Papaw.

You have grown up so much over the last year. You've graduated from speech therapy, are so much more outgoing, and your imagination is through the roof! You are 100% boy, and I love it!! But you also have such a sweet, tender side especially when someone gets hurt or is upset. You are quick to hug them or ask them what's wrong. You inherited your daddy's sense of humor and ability to memorize movie lines (or entire scenes) after seeing a movie just a few times. You're curious about everything, but cautious enough that I can trust you not to wander outside our yard or too far out of my sight. (Mommy likes that.)

Cash, I know I tell you this every day....several times a day, even. But I love you. I love with a love that you probably won't understand until you have a child of your own someday. I've loved you this much since I met you and nothing and no one could ever change that. There is no one else in this world like you. God made you so special, so unique, so fantastic that He could never duplicate it.

And I'm so glad He gave you to us. You are the joy of my life. Enjoy being three, little man.

Love,
Mommy

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

The Story of Cash's Arrival

Tonight I confessed to the facebook world that each year, on May 10th, I mentally relive my labor & delivery with Cash. I do it with Corrinne too, but since its Cash's birthday tomorrow, we'll let him have the limelight. Then it occurred to me that I never documented Cash's birth story since I didn't start this blog until he was about 6 months old. And since my memory is fading at a rapid rate these days I am going to take this opportunity to tell you a little tale about how Andrew Cash made his entrance into this world...

It was Saturday, May 10, 2008. I woke up completely disappointed that the contractions and spotting the previous night had led nowhere. I called my mom, cried hysterically when I told her I was still pregnant and then wished Drew a good day at work as he left later that morning. He would be working until late that night so I decided to just have a day to myself. I was scheduled to be induced the following Monday morning (my due date) so thinking that was probably my last Saturday to do whatever I wanted for awhile, I took advantage of it.

I visited with Drew's parents, who were in town for the arrival of our first baby, stopped by my parents' old house they were busy cleaning since they had just moved, and then hung out at my sister's house since she had our other sister's daughter for the weekend. I remember being in a very weird mood. I was very weepy and didn't want to be out in public but didn't want to be alone. I just felt off, emotionally.

Finally I decided to get dinner with a friend of mine. A friend who I had lived with previously so I knew she wouldn't be offended by my quietness. We chose Paradise Bakery and sat down to eat right at 8:00 PM. I remember this because that was when the first contraction came. So I sat my phone on the table and secretly timed each one during dinner. They were coming 5 minutes apart for the entire hour we were eating. I didn't tell Penny about the contractions until we were heading home and I was starting to get really uncomfortable. We stopped by Drew's work to see him and I didn't even tell Drew what was happening! Penny finally convinced me to call my doctor around 9:30 since I was starting to not be able to talk through my contractions. The doctor told me to head on in to the hospital so I started making the phone calls (first to Drew, then to our parents) and then got things together. Drew came home, showered and we were out the door by 10:30.

It took the nurses about 30 minutes to figure out I was in active labor and admit me. I was dilated to 3cm and contracting regularly, but I still felt like I was handling the contractions well. Our parents, along with 2 of my sisters showed up by midnight and we were all so excited!! Around 3:30 am the doctor on call (who happened to be the ONE doctor in the entire practice I DIDN'T want to deliver our baby) came in and broke my water, I was dilated to 5cm. Immediately after I was between 6-7cm. I was still feeling pretty good but the nurse thought the anesthesiologist would be unavailable for awhile so she encouraged me to go ahead and get my epidural. The last contraction I felt was super strong so I'm glad I listened to her!

The next 6 hours seemed to fly by as we waited.... and talked about who we thought we were meeting that day... and laughed... and as I watched everyone but me eat breakfast.

Finally around 9:30 the nurse said I just had a tiny rim of cervix left so she sent all my visitors out so I could rest before pushing. I had been up ALL night (dumb idea!) so I definitely needed it. I started pushing around 10:30 and after 45 minutes of pushing my hardest, not seeing any part of Cash's head and the doctor trying to physically turn Cash so he was facing down (worst pain of my LIFE. And I had an epidural!), the doctor told me my baby wasn't going to be born that way. He just wouldn't fit.

So off to the O.R. we went. And I was so excited!! We were finally going to meet our baby and find out whether it was Cash or Claire. At 12:07 P.M. I heard a faint little cry and then saw a bloody, purple, scrunched up little face over the curtain. It was the most beautiful baby I'd ever seen! Then I heard the doctor say, "Ok, Dad. What do we have?" and after a few moments that felt like eternity Drew said, "Boy. BOY! We have A BOY!!!!" Words can't even describe what that moment felt like.

They cleaned Cash and wrapped him up then had Drew lay him face to face with me. My absolute favorite part was that when I said his name and talked to him, he instantly quieted down and was just so calm and peaceful. It was like we had known each other forever. I was instantly head over heels in love with that little man.



And oh, how our lives have never been the same...

The new Sheriff in town (so he thinks)

3 years ago today I woke up enormously pregnant and cried on the phone with my mom because I thought I was never going to have my baby. Later that evening we headed to the hospital...

This morning I woke up (pregnant, but not enormously) to my soon-to-be 3 year old with his blankie, pillow, and Sheriff Woody making their way into our bed. As soon as his little head hit the pillow next to mine he said, "Mommy. You need to close your eyes and go to sleep."

He's grown a bit bossy in his old age. ;)

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Reflections of the way life used to be

Hola! In honor of Cinco de Mayo I will write this post entirely in spanish...

yeah, right. ;)

Ahhh, the 5th of May. Every year when the weather starts turning warm, leaves appear on all the trees and flowers start sprouting, my thoughts turn back to that fateful May in 2008 when my world turned upside down, in a good way. The year I became a mom.

I actually remember exactly how I spent the 5th day of May that year. I was 39 weeks pregnant, wearing a white maternity shirt that probably looked like it didn't fit (because it most likely didn't) as I met my parents for lunch at El Rodeo - to celebrate the mexican holiday, of course. I had stopped working early because I was carrying a child that measured 2 weeks ahead consistently through my entire pregnancy and every doctor I saw told me I would never make it to my due date. So of course each day was spent wondering if I would meet my baby that day... and crying when I didn't.

Each year I get weepy and nostalgic thinking back to those long two weeks spent waiting and anticipating the day it would finally happen. As I've watched him transform into this blur of a boy running - "flying" in his mind - through our house complete with sound effects I've longed to snuggle the newborn Cash just one more time. Or squish the chubby cheeks of our 6 month old Cash. Sometimes I just stare at him while he's sleeping because you can still see a hint of his baby face left.

I just want my babies to stay young enough that they still want hugs and kisses heal their boo-boos.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

They're BAAAAAAACK...

Notes from the UnderBelly, Vol. 3
(Sorry for the lack of picture, look for one next time!)


How Far Along: 15 weeks 4 days 

Size of baby: an orange! mmm!! (Is it weird that I said, "mmm"?) 

Total Weight Gain/Loss:  I am down 5 lbs. I'm sure with the return of my appetite that will quickly change... 

Maternity Clothes: Nope. But I do use the rubber-band trick to fasten most of my jeans these days. 

Gender: Its a SURPRISE! :) 

Movement: Feeling more and more flutters every day. And I LOVE IT! 

Sleep: I am a HUGE fan of sleep. A few weeks ago I dealt with some very frustrating insomnia, but haven't had any trouble this week. Hoping to enjoy some good sleep between now and the 3rd trimester. 

What I miss: Productivity in the bathroom, in all honesty. (Sorry if thats TMI.) And I have to say, I miss my love for chocolate. Just like Corrinne's pregnancy, this one has taken away my desire for the chocolately goodness I've always enjoyed. Hopefully it returns soon. 

Cravings: Jr. Bacon Cheeseburgers from Wendy's, water (thats definitely a new thing for this Mt. Dew lover), fruity candy, Cinnabon cinnamon rolls (also a new love). 

Hard to believe we're doing this... again... but we couldn't be happier! We will get to see our baby again via ultrasound around the end of May when I will be half-way through this pregnancy. Crazy how quickly time is flyin. October will be here before we know it! 

Friday, March 11, 2011

Lord, I'm Amazed by You

I haven't been a fan of the word amazing or its variations for some time now. Maybe its not so much the word itself that makes me cringe, but the way its over-used in today's society. One of the reasons I'm enjoying this particular season of The Bachelor is because I haven't heard "OMG, he's so amaaaaazing." about 80 bajillion times. (Please don't let my Bachelor reference discredit the true content of this post. Please.) I just feel like it should be reserved for things that are truly amazing; things that are so rare, so uncommon that they truly leave you in awe.

Over the last few weeks a line from a Philips, Craig & Dean song has been playing over and over in my mind. It says, "Lord, I'm amazed by You. Lord, I'm amazed by You. Lord, I'm amazed by You and how You love me."

You see, about 3 weeks ago a friend of mine went in to see her OB for a regular check-up on Friday. She was about to be 33 weeks on Monday and when her doctor had a hard time finding their baby girl's heart beat they sent her in to the hospital in a frenzy. Realizing the baby's heart rate was dangerously low they decided to deliver sweet little Delaney 8 weeks early. In the delivery they discovered her cord had gotten wrapped around her neck twice, between her legs and then back up and around her head and her amniotic fluid was almost 100% depleted. Had my friend not gone in for her appointment, if she had had to cancel for some reason or hadn't scheduled for that day in the first place, little Delaney would be in heaven right now. Not only was the realization that she needed to be born and the perfect timing of it all such a miracle, but aside from her tiny size - born at just over 3 pounds - you wouldn't know she had been born so early. She started breathing on her own less than 24 hours after delivery and now, 3 weeks later is up to almost 5 pounds and nursing from her mommy! I just keep thinking God knew she needed to be strong because she was going to be born earlier than expected. He gave her the lungs to breathe on her own much earlier than any NICU nurse or doctor would have predicted. She's quite the feisty little lady and such a fighter!

And then there's a friend of my husband's whose marriage was on its way to divorce. Unimaginable damage had been done and papers had been served. I know just in finding out about the separation Drew and I had started praying for this couple and are certain their families and friends were too. Just about 10 days ago the husband made public that he had given his will over to God and wants to spend the rest of his life proving to his wife she's worth fighting for! I don't know the details of where the 2 stand now, but I know this: God has already worked a miracle in changing the heart of this man!

And last Wednesday as I sat in an ultrasound room and saw our newest addition on the screen (which looked a lot like a kidney bean) I was amazed by it's heart. Even at just a little over 7 weeks gestation I could clearly see the different chambers of the heart working. I was truly amazed at the handiwork of God. By the way, you all will get to meet that little "kidney bean" in October.

God is the author and protecter of life. He can restore your marriage, your faith, and your family, and most importantly He loves you. He's always at work on your behalf.  It won't always be easy, but it'll always be worth it. Each of those stories I mentioned didn't come without some measure of fear, doubt and insecurity: Delaney's parents were terrified on the way to the hospital not sure of the outcome, our friends were heartbroken over the damaged relationship and marriage, and as you all know losing our  baby last fall was devastating to Drew and I. But God's always working.

"God can do anything you know - far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams!" Ephesians 3:20 (MSG)

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Can't Sesame Street just teach my kids?

Um  is there a FAFSA somewhere for preschool students?

Maybe I'm just naive but I didn't realize preschool was going to be another big ticket item in the budget. Cash, time to get a job, buddy. ;)