Tuesday, September 7, 2010

More than Enough

I've been searching my parenting and pregnancy books for the chapter on Mommy Guilt but can't seem to find it. I really felt like I had gotten "the advice that no one gives", you know? I was warned about the possibility and likelihood of pooping during delivery, the grossness of losing your mucous plug, and fully expected and was prepared for the separation anxiety stage. But no one ever told me about the overwhelming constant feeling of inadequacy. That stupid nagging feeling I have after letting Cash fill up on granola bars instead of forcing him to eat his applesauce. The voice inside that says, you should really sit down and build a tower with him or read a book to her instead of letting them be entertained by Elmo for the 3rd time today. The exact feeling I have as I'm writing this instead of emptying the dishwasher and folding the laundry. Bottom line - I'm not enough. Not enough for my kids, not enough for my husband, definitely not enough for my Saviour. Everyday I'm struggling to meet everyone's needs and have no clue how to fix it.
As I typed that last sentence I was reminded of Sandy Patty's discussion at Women of Faith. Being everything for everyone was a struggle for her and she talked about how God reminded her that she is more than enough for Him. For in our weakness, His strength is made perfect.

Oh, Lord. Take my weaknesses and use them to show Your greatness! Let me be a wife that Drew can be proud of; with a gentle spirit and kind heart. Lord, help me to see who it is you've called me to be. Thank you for this amazing journey you've set me on as a mom. Let me see it for the treasure it is and not waste another day drowning in my own self-pity of temper tantrums, strong-willed personalities, and spilled milk (for real). Help me be a mom that You would be proud of. One that points to You in all things, one that puts her family first, and is quick to listen and slow to anger. Thank you for loving me.
And Lord, please help Cash make better choices during nap time. Amen.


Meagan Maynard said...

You are not alone! I feel the exact same way!

Sarah said...

Oh, don't I know how you feel! Today's one of those days. Not enough of me to go around. I'll be praying for both of us!